1. I’ve been asked the question “when will you guys stop the rain” a pretty baffling amount of times. One time a lady was just shocked that we “allowed it to rain” in the park, like it was some big scandal!
2. “Can you stop the parade so I can cross the street?”
3. “If Goofy is a dog, why does he have a pet dog himself?”
4. Guest: “Where can I find ears?”
Me: “Um, On the side of your head?”
His family burst out in laughter and started giving me high fives.
5. “What time is the 3 o’clock parade?”
6. “Yesterday I went to Disneyland… And I saw the parade… And it was raining during the parade… And everyone was wearing raincoats… And the Little Mermaid was in the parade… And she was wearing a raincoat too… Why?”
“Well, because everyone else was wearing a raincoat, Ariel wanted to wear one too so she could be like everybody else.” –My Castmate friend in the call center that took the call above.
7. Adult: “You work during the holidays?”
Adult, muttering as he walks away: “I don’t believe her. It’s probably a trick to get tips.”
It was during Christmas. He was literally there on Christmas.
8. “Where’s Hogwarts?” Probably about half a day’s walk away.
9. I was a bus driver, so it wasn’t the kids but the adults. They’d see the turn signals come on, but not me taking my hands off the steering wheel. They’d ask how I was turning them on. “Magic!” (For those of you who don’t know, there are two foot buttons on the floor you push with your left foot.)
10. I work with the horses at the park and I had a child ask why the horse has a butthole.
11. “Here, my baby needs changing and I don’t want to miss the parade. Go take care of it.” I most certainly did not.
12. “Which princess has the biggest boobs?”
13. “So how does it feel being a rat?”
14. A kid asked me, “What was it like….when you got your name tag?”
15. So, former bus driver here. The strangest question I was ever asked is: “Where do the bus drivers sleep at night?” He thought we had houses in the parks and we could choose which one.
16. Not a kid, but while working as a vacation planner in DAK (ticket booth) a drunk couple asked if I could make out with them and proceeded to put their mouths on the glass and would not leave. I just kissed my hand and put it on the glass and thank god that was good enough for them.
17. “Are you a robot?”
18. I used to work at two “thrill” attractions and would always get, “Am I gonna die?” I’d say, “Well, someday kid. Someday. But not on this ride.”
19. “Do you live here?” I was asked that maybe 2-3 times. Amazing how many kids think we just live at the parks. They always seemed a little confused when I told them I lived outside of the parks and I had to drive there.
20. My daughter asked Mulan who the worst princess is. She said something about Mushu being the most ornery.
21. “Do you flip people off under the costume?”
22. “Where’s Walt buried?”
23. “Can you just ask Goofy to take his head off so my kid isn’t afraid?”
24. “Can you guys turn off the rain? Isn’t there a bubble around the park?”
25. Someone pointed at the People Mover and asked if it was Space Mountain. When I said no, they insisted it was and were, what I imagine, very disappointed.
26. “How many nuts can Chip and Dale store in the castle and can you show me?”
27. “How do we get to Magic Kingdom?”…we were IN magic kingdom.
28. “Why does this sandwich taste like mouse?”
29. I use to be a pirate that did the pirate makeovers in Magic Kingdom and I had a little boy probably around 7 in my chair. We were talking about how I live on a pirate ship of course and what kind of pirate ship he would want to live on. He asked very concerned, “How do you take a shower on a pirate ship?” And I said, “We don’t!” Then my pirate coworker next to me came and smelled my armpit to confirm we absolutely don’t. Then in return I smelled her armpit to let him know that she also hasn’t showered. He didn’t ask any more questions after that!
30. Not a child but a mother with her 2 kids in tow: “How do they work? Are they animatronic or do you have a remote control?” Talking about the live wild manatees. Ps: She threatened a lawsuit on Disney for endangering her kids…. Near manatees… The gentlest of sea creatures… Giant slow moving potatoes.